What if they ask me not to tell anyone? It’s important to preserve trust in your relationship, but you also have to prioritize their safety. It depends what the secret is, but if their life is at risk then explain that you can find a way to discreetly get them the help they need. You can say something like, “I need you to know that I can’t keep this a secret” and work to create a plan you’re both comfortable with. If they are not cooperative in that, you have to do the tough work of telling someone else anyway. Sometimes it’s specific like they don’t want you to tell their parents. In this case, maybe you can agree on someone else you can go to. In any case, if someone is in crisis, their safety is your first priority and your relationship comes second. You can stay loyal to your friend by caring for them and getting them the help they need. Copy Answer
What if they don’t want me to get help or get mad when I do? Put your say what you see skills to work and tell them what it is that makes you feel the need to bring in professional help. Hear them out and be sensitive to their past experiences and their concerns. Don’t assume you have all the answers, but find a solution that works for them. If your gut tells you that they’re in crisis; call a helpline, 9-1-1 or emergency services. If possible, don’t leave them alone. As long as you aren't in danger, stay with them until help comes. Copy Answer
What if they disclose self-harm to me online or I notice something on social media? If you think this person is in immediate danger and you know their location, call 9-1-1. If you do not think they are in immediate danger then you can use the Golden Rules to reach out to this person to offer your support. Don’t jump to any conclusions or try to fix things. Your role is to be there, listen and connect them to helpful resources and professional services. Some social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook have reporting tools. If they are not in immediate danger but you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to them directly, you can report your concern. For example, Twitter will assess your report, contact the reported user and let them know that someone who cares about them identified that they might be at risk. Twitter will provide the reported user with available online and hotline resources and encourage them to seek help. Copy Answer
What if they end up in a hospital, should I go visit? What can I expect? There is significant stigma attached to hospitals, psychiatric wards in particular, but in reality hospitals are places for healing and often having visitors come by to bring comfort, a laugh or just some distraction is an important part of the recovery process. People struggling with their mental health can be admitted to hospital for a number of reasons; to assess new symptoms, for monitoring while medication is adjusted, for therapy, for treatment of any number of medical conditions associated (or not) with their mental illness, or if they’re at risk of self-harm or suicide. Here are some ways you can offer support to a friend in the hospital. Ask staff ahead of time about rules regarding visiting times and items not allowed on the unit Bring them their favourite items of clothing, moisturizer (hospitals are really dry!), or some other comfort from home Get creative and make them something they’ll appreciate Have fun, play a game, make them laugh Be friendly and non-judgemental with other patients on the unit as well as your friend Literally just be there. Your presence alone can be a huge comfort. Copy Answer
In an emergency: This is not a site for personal disclosure of mental health distress, suicidal thoughts or behaviours. If you are in crisis, please call a helpline, 9-1-1 or emergency services or go to your nearest emergency department for assistance. If someone’s thoughts or behaviours threaten the safety of themselves or others, then this is what’s called a mental health crisis. Call a helpline, 9-1-1 or emergency services. If someone has recently hurt themselves, but is no longer in danger, follow Be There’s Golden Rules and connect them to resources in their area. Being there for someone experiencing a mental health crisis is different than supporting someone through less severe mental health distress, but the same Golden Rules apply. Learn how the Golden Rules apply and how to Be There in a Crisis.
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